A lot of people jump into marriage with a notion of a “happily ever after“ waiting for them afterwards. However, most people find that there is no such thing. Once the reality sets in, the romance starts to dwindle. And what that happens, you can expect anxiety to start kicking in, as well.
Anxiety can pretty much wreck a relationship based on irrational fears alone. It makes a person lose trust on their partner or feel irrationally insecure about the relationship. And for some people, dealing with the anxiety comes easy – they take antidepressants likes Prozac to calm their nerves down and pretend like nothing is wrong.
But why would you want to immediately jump taking medications when you can work on saving your marriage? With a bit more insight on the different stages a successful marriage passes, you can gauge which stage you're at, what problems you're currently having, and what resolutions you can take. That is, if you want to work on the marriage.
The first stage of marriage is the honeymoon stage. At this stage, partners are still elated by the excitement and romance. During this part of the marriage, sexual attraction is at its peak. Differences are set aside and are sometimes even taken as a positive thing. Couples at this stage of the marriage think that nothing can go wrong and the marriage would work on its own because they love each other.
The second stage is the reality stage. Here is where reality sets in. Partners start noticing the different quirks in each other as they go through various situations. Oftentimes, these situations don't really meet their prior expectations in the relationship and create conflict between the couple. Disagreements start to arise as they see how different things are not compared to when they were simply dating.
It is during the reality stage that risks of extra-marital affairs are at its highest. Divorce rates during this period of the marriage is also quite often. This phase of the relationship often invokes isolation and disappointment after the post-wedding bliss. Most people interpret this stage as having chosen the wrong partner and start harboring negative feelings about marriage. Sex becomes more of an obligation than an act of love, in the reality stage. This makes the excitement in the relationship fizzle out some more, causing one or both partners to think that they've lost the spark.
It is the second stage of marriage that needs a lot of work as you need to find ways to work around the differences and reignite the “spark” in the relationship. It is important to remember that it takes more than the initial excitement to get a marriage through.
The third stage is the accommodation stage. The lucky ones who decide to get over their differences and work around it get to enjoy this phase of the relationship. It is in the accommodation stage that couples renew the strength of their bond and take the intimacy further. This is where partners learn how to cope with the differences and manage conflicts in a grounded manner.
The fourth stage is the transformation stage. Also known as the success stage, this is the phase where partners enjoy the hard work they put into getting over the reality stage. Here, couples enjoy a satisfying and mutually supportive relationship.
It's always the second and third stages that need a lot of work. It's not going to be easy to get past the reality stage, neither is it easy to find ways to work around the differences that arise in the second stage. But with mutual effort from both partners, you'll be able to get around those differences and get your happily ever after back again.